


Game Night

by UselessReptileWrites



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Hiccup suffers but it makes a good story, Humor, Snotlout and Astrid definitely should not play any video games together, mentions of food and eating, the sacrifice of his peace of mind is for the greater good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-31 12:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15119108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessReptileWrites/pseuds/UselessReptileWrites
Summary: A story of how Hiccup learned, the hard way, that you should never let Snotlout and Astrid play video games together.Or, alternatively, Toothless enjoys the story of his best friend's poor life decisions.





	Game Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FanaticFangirl2602](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanaticFangirl2602/gifts).



> Partially inspired by how competitive Astrid and Snotlout were with cooperating in "A Tale of Two Dragons" and fanaticfangirl2602 on Tumblr saying they wanted to see this.

“Remind me never to play video games with both Snotlout and Astrid again.”

Hiccup could  _feel_  Toothless’s smug smirk through the phone. That smirk had universe-breaking properties. “What happened?” his best friend asked in a voice far too smug for its own good.

Hiccup settled himself in the couch, making sure he was comfortable. This might take a while. “So me, Astrid, Snotlout, and Meatlug were all playing that new Super Mario World game, you know, the one where you make stages and play them.”

“Oh boy.” Toothless sounded somewhere between  _bracing himself for one interesting yet horrifying story_  and  _here we go again._  “I don’t know what made you think that was ever a good idea.”

Hiccup rubbed at his head. It’d happened a couple days ago, but it still gave him a headache. “Yeah, me neither.”

“So what’d they do this time?” Toothless asked.

“So we started out trying some of the stages we’d been uploading. That was only mistake one.” He paused to let Toothless chuckle. “Astrid and Snotlout start criticizing the choices they made.” Hiccup cleared his throat and tried to mimic Astrid’s voice. “‘Snotlout, why is everything in this stage shaped like an S?’” Toothless’s amusement was oozing from the phone’s speaker, but he’d committed to this now. He deepened his voice and tried to mimic Snotlout. “‘Because S is obviously the best letter in the alphabet! Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, sweetheart.’”

“Ugh.” Toothless was only half-joking. “When will he learn she’s never gonna be interested in him?”

“When Odin himself descends from the heavens and says it, probably.” He huffed out a sigh. “And he’s obviously not finding anything praiseworthy of her stage.”

“Of course.” Toothless sounded more than ready for the truly juicy bit of the story.

“Meatlug and I are just trying to stay out of it and get everyone through the night alive, trying to distract them from their useless bickering, but they just won’t quit. Finally, we all beat their levels, but we still want to continue the game. Putting off studying for the finals, you know?” He heard Toothless make a sympathetic sound. “So you know how the twins have been dropping hints that they’ve made a stage for us?” Hints was too kind; Ruffnut had pretty much been demanding that they do this stage.

“Yeah?”

“Well, we decided we’d been putting it off for long enough and decided to just get it over with.” Like getting a tooth removed at the dentist, except without the painkillers.

“Heavens have mercy on your souls.” It was hard to tell if Toothless was serious or not.

“Trust me, there was no mercy that day.” He grimaced at the memory. “This stage was not meant to be won. There was fire and lava everywhere, Bob-ombs randomly falling from the sky. I don’t think this can be won, even if it weren’t for the rules.”

“Rules?” Toothless clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “There are no rules in Super Mario.”

“Apparently, this stage does.” He paused. “Apparently, two people have to share the controller between them and do the whole level together.”

“Oh, gods.” Toothless could definitely see where this was going.

“Now, ordinarily I’d suggest we just do it singleplayer and say we didn’t when we see the twins, but you know Meatlug. Not a false bone in her body, and worse a liar than I am.” And that hadn’t been the end of it. “So I thought that Meatlug and I both get Snotlout or Astrid as a partner. Take one for the team. Astrid probably would’ve gone along with it.” He paused. “Snotlout, however, insisted.”

“Why didn’t Astrid say no?” Toothless was genuinely curious.

“She did. At first.” And quite vehemently, too. “But then Snotlout said she wasn’t up for the challenge. And Hoffersons–”

“–never turn down a challenge.” Toothless didn’t seem to be sure at whether to be horrified or amused at the events so far. Hiccup had been forced to watch this trainwreck of a game night from start to finish, and hadn’t been able to look away from the carnage that ensued. He doubted he’d ever be able to find the amusement.

“So they both manage to pick the side of the controller they were going to use, no problem. Meatlug and I are crossing our fingers and hoping at least for a graceful resignation and for our console to be not smashed.” She’d truly been terrified of that happening; she, like Fishlegs, had terrible anxiety.

“I take it it wasn’t?”

Hiccup swallowed. “To say it wasn’t gracious is like saying it gets a little nippy during the winter up here.”

There was a chewing sound from the phone which surprised Hiccup. “Sorry,” Toothless said. “There was a bowl of popcorn right there, and I couldn’t resist.”

“Popcorn?” Hiccup was thrown off for a moment.

“I was watching a movie when you called. Don’t worry,” he said as Hiccup went to apologize, “it wasn’t very interesting. I just wanted to watch it to have an excuse to eat it. Anyways, do continue?”

“So they start playing. It’s an utter catastrophe right off the bat.” Hiccup tugged at a lock of his hair. “Snotlout pulls the remote closer to him, not thinking, and Astrid accidentally jumps into the spikes trying to get it back, which makes him complain about her spoiling his record or something like that. Or he forgets that the coins lead to a trap and gets them killed, and she complains that he has the memory of a goldfish.”

Toothless audibly shuddered in sympathy.

“So they reach a fork in the road. They find out that one way has lots of coins and powerups, including those amiibo ones that change Mario’s appearance, but is practically flooded in deathtraps. The other side has less stuff, but seems safer.” He sighed. “And you know which side Snotlout wanted.”

“Yup.” More crunching. He at least could appreciate this. Hiccup just felt a stress headache.

“Astrid just wants this over with and says they should take the safe route.” Hiccup and Meatlug were wanting them to take that route too. “But no, Snotlout must do things the hard way, a Jorgenson never backs down, etc.” He huffed. “So he tries to make them do that route. Astrid did try to work with him, but eventually her insisting made him walk into a lava pit. On purpose.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So she brushes aside her bangs and says, ‘Oh, so you’re gonna be like that, huh?’” And back to the bad impressions.

A snort. “Hiccup, I had popcorn in my mouth. You want your best bud to choke?”

Hiccup smiled and shook his head. “Course not. Who else can help me keep those two from killing each other?”

“That’d be such a tragedy.” More munching.

“And then, before Meatlug and I can stop it, it’s a contest to see who can get them killed faster. Snotlout tries veering them into lava pits, only for Astrid to make them leap over and into the inconveniently placed goomba pit.” And the koopa pits, and the dry bones pits, and the Bowser pits. The twins had something for pits with dangerous stuff in them, apparently.

“Oh, yikes.” Toothless sounded like he was finally grasping the horror of what was happening.

“Finally, I got them to call it quits. Meatlug was getting anxious from them arguing, and we were playing games to destress.” And how well had that turned out.

“Well, that could’ve been worse,” Toothless said, sounding rather upbeat.

Hiccup winced. “Well, if we stopped playing video games then, then maybe.”

A pause. “What happened?”

Hiccup ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I didn’t know it was a bad idea at the time. I’d picked up the game at a store, but I never played the prequels. If I’d known what it was like, I’d never have bought it in the first place, I’d have gotten something cute, like Little Big Planet instead.”

“What?” Toothless was firm.

Hiccup took a deep breath. “Mario Party.”

A long stretch of silence, in memoriam to Hiccup’s peace of mind.

“Oh, gods.”


End file.
